- Mornings. It took me months to get into a good morning routine with Declan. Once we did, it was awesome. I would get up around 6, get ready, have my all-important cup of tea, then go get Declan up sometime around 7-7.30 and get him ready before we both left shortly after 8. My 30-40 minutes of peace every day was heaven. My chance to sit still, read a book, and drink my tea in silence. Now there’s a BABY to fit in. A baby who is sorta on a schedule but not completely. A baby who can’t hold her own bottle yet. A baby who can’t be put down for very long. Argh. I miss my quiet cup of tea SO MUCH. But on days that I get everyone up, fed, dressed and out of the house before 9 I feel so FREAKIN’ ACCOMPLISHED. Almost more accomplished than anything I’ve ever done in my career. It’s absurd.
- Sleep. Declan has only had one bad night so far since Ophelia arrived, but ohmygoodness was it bad. It was in the early days so O was still waking every 2-3 hours. Declan had night terrors around 10.30pm and would not go back to sleep. I ended up bringing him into our bed for the first time ever, where he woke crying every hour or so. Combine that with feeding Ophelia and trying to get her back to sleep each time and I was a giant mess in the morning.
- Quality time. The arrival of Ophelia means Declan and I don’t get to spend so much time together. I don’t get to put him to bed as often, and I miss the silly fun we would have. He’s been going to daycare on Mondays, which was always our day out together since it was my day off. We spend less time doing creative stuff and a lot more time watching TV. I know that as Ophelia grows I will be able to hang out with Declan again, but it will never be quite the same. Seeing him with her is amazing though. He sings her songs when she cries, strokes her head, gives her many kisses, and is fascinated by everything she does. I wanted him to have a sibling so much, it will be worth the disruption.
- And finally, dinner time. Sitting down to eat dinner together is definitely something I took for granted before. Now we have to work around Ophelia’s schedule and only occasionally will she let me put her down long enough for me to finish my dinner and tidy up afterwards. I get frustrated far more quickly when Declan is taking forEVER to eat, since I’m constantly aware that the baby might start fussing at any moment.
Ophelia is a million times easier than Declan ever was, but I’m still finding it hard. Breastfeeding only lasted a month. I’ve had days full of tears-for-no-reason. I dread putting her down for the night because it can take forever. I simultaneously can’t wait for the newborn days to be behind us, while realizing that once they’re gone they’ll be gone forever (we are two and DONE). I also do not want to hasten Declan’s growth even a little bit since it’s already moving too quickly and he’s so much fun right now. I wish I could freeze him at this age until Ophelia is a year old, then move things forward again. :)
Some things are definitely easier the second time around. I used to obsess about Declan’s naps – I don’t worry at all about Ophelia’s. When the darkness does hit me, it’s not quite so dark because I have Declan as a permanent reminder that this too shall pass. I’m less worried when Ophelia fusses (though admittedly she fusses a LOT less often than Declan did so this isn’t difficult). I’m not concerned about her starting daycare. I know that she WILL eventually sleep through the night. Christian and I WILL get some of our evening time back. We WILL be able to go out as a family again without an excess of planning and hassle. Is it easier to the point that we would ever consider another? Nope nope and nope. I’m 38 forgoodnesssake.